Amnesia Trap (GL) - Chapter 61

It was as if she had been thoroughly “cooked” through and through.

Softness and obedience, wantonness and distraction—conflicting yet harmonious, all woven together. Her cheeks and ears were saturated with a deep crimson. At the slightest tug, she would proactively offer the tip of her tongue in an instinctive entanglement, her slow, warm whimpers exuding a moist, syrupy allure that seemed ready to drip.

Sheng Zhi watched her entranced state and finally removed the layer of gauze covering her eyes. She didn’t kiss her again, but simply watched her for a moment.

A person who usually spoke lies without blinking or a change in heartbeat was only ever this honest in this regard. Not only was her reaction intense, but she was trembling with shame.

“You really should see how horny you look right now…” Sheng Zhi bit out the adjective with a peculiar emphasis.

Perhaps this was the only time. After all, at any other time, it was Sheng Zhi who was teased into heart-pounding flushes and humiliated rage by Ji Qingfan. Even after tonight—come tomorrow—Ji Qingfan would surely revert to that utterly hypocritical facade.

Only Sheng Zhi would be trapped in these memories, unable to think clearly or sort them out, hopelessly confused and losing control; meanwhile, Ji Qingfan would keep these things perfectly compartmentalized, turning them into leverage to achieve her own goals.

The emotions in Sheng Zhi’s eyes shifted back and forth with these thoughts—from suppressed anxiety to helpless frustration, finally settling into an overflowing sense of grievance.

—It was only her.

However, this slightly lost and soft sense of grievance didn’t last long. She quickly recognized it and bit her lip with even more resentment.

…It was enough to make her die of anger.

Thus, the subtly softened atmosphere was shattered the next second as Ji Qingfan was pinned back down by her.

On dark-colored bedding, any stain is inevitably obvious. Now, a hand abruptly tightened, clutching the fabric and leaving several wrinkled trails. The gauze that had just been removed was repurposed around the wrists, mercilessly stripping away any point of leverage she could reach for.

Without the hairpin to bite on, the sobs mixed into Ji Qingfan’s voice became much clearer: “Wait…”

Those two short words were spoken in broken fragments. It was too sudden and too intense; she remained in a state of dazed shock. The control over her body and its reactions seemed to no longer belong to her; she couldn’t stop her tears, yet she was interrogated as to why she was crying and why she wouldn’t answer.

“Can’t answer? Isn’t the answer incredibly obvious?” Sheng Zhi seemed dissatisfied, speaking directly to Ji Qingfan word by word: “Because…”

Having finished, she gave her a prodding squeeze. The corners of her brilliant eyes tilted up, her beauty so dazzling it was almost blinding. “Alright, repeat it.”

But her inability to answer wasn’t due to not knowing the answer.

It had crossed over into a loss of control, and gradually, another sensation began to rise.

…No, that wouldn’t do. Not that.

Even her hazy, chaotic gaze became uneasy because of this sensation. Finding that Ji Qingfan was trying to dodge forward, Sheng Zhi dragged her back without a second thought. This discovery made her exquisite brows instantly flare with irritation, her grip tightening: “Where do you think you’re running? Don’t forget, you started this…”

But before she could finish the sentence, she was interrupted by what happened next.

Sheng Zhi froze for a second, then looked down at her own dress, which had instantly become as beyond saving as the bedsheets. The wine-red fabric was soaked into a darker hue. Clearly, this was slightly different from what had happened just moments ago.

Immediately after, she heard Ji Qingfan’s sobbing, muffled apology: “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… do that on you…”

How absurd, she thought. Ji Qingfan was practically “broken.”

Sheng Zhi withdrew her gaze from her dress and bit hard on her knuckle. Her thick lashes trembled like butterfly wings before lowering to hide the surging emotions in her eyes.

Perhaps it wasn’t just Ji Qingfan; she was likely “broken” by Ji Qingfan as well. Despite everything, she wasn’t angry in the slightest. Instead, she felt a strange, rippling excitement, her heart beating so fast it really was no different from being broken.

And now, they absolutely had to take a shower together… despite her previous vivid and thorough refusal.

Warm water gurgled into the bathtub as a dense mist spread.

Sheng Zhi pulled Ji Qingfan into her arms and unwrapped a strawberry-flavored hard candy. “Open up.”

She fed her the candy, her mind wandering to the thought that she should probably give her some water too; after all, she had lost quite a lot of fluids.

“…So sweet,” Ji Qingfan murmured.

Even though it was just an ordinary strawberry candy, her tone made it sound like some rare delicacy. She leaned into Sheng Zhi’s embrace dependently, her beautiful eyes slightly narrowed, her cheeks still retaining a trace of that vibrant, moving flush.

Whether it was the lingering warmth of the atmosphere or something else, Sheng Zhi suddenly felt an urge to taste if the strawberry candy was really that sweet. The moment the thought appeared, her mind went blank for a second before she suppressed it.

…Too dangerous. Though it was a bit late to realize it, this sort of thing was too addictive. The worst part was that she couldn’t separate these feelings as well as Ji Qingfan could.

She suddenly regretted the cohabitation. If they were always together like this, the frequency of such events would surely skyrocket. Right now, Ji Qingfan was intentionally leading her on, but if this continued, a day might come where Ji Qingfan didn’t even have to try, and she would…

It was like watching herself sink step by step while fully conscious—regretting it, yet unable to refuse. She understood everything, she knew exactly what was happening.

Just then, she heard Ji Qingfan speak: “Jiao Jiao, are you unhappy?”

Her voice was soft, her breath carrying the sweet scent of strawberry. “I won’t do that on you next time. Usually, it wouldn’t happen, but I was forced to reach the limit too many times just now, I really couldn’t control it.”

Hearing her get into more and more detail, Sheng Zhi didn’t want to hear any more and interrupted: “Stop talking. I’m not unhappy.”

“Does that mean you’re happy?” Ji Qingfan didn’t stop, casually twirling a lock of her hair. “I’m so happy. I like it so much. Did Jiao Jiao really not remember anything? We were so in sync I almost thought you had remembered…”

Listening to her, Sheng Zhi almost hated her honesty in this regard. She would rather she lied—saying it was “uncomfortable,” “painful,” “scary,” or that she “didn’t like it”—rather than seeing her flushed face and hearing her say intimately, “I love this so much,” or “I could die right here in this bed.”

This caused her to overturn some of her previous thoughts and reaffirm a new one—as long as it feels good, anyone might be the same for Ji Qingfan. She might even have certain “tendencies” in that area, so even with a rival, it could still be enjoyable.

The person wasn’t the irreplaceable part.

Just like the way she was acting now—at its root, it was only because Sheng Zhi was useful to her, someone to be utilized.

This theory was sound. After all, she had married Ji Qingfan in the first place only to suppress the scandal of Yun Xian fleeing the wedding. Going back further, Ji Qingfan hadn’t saved her puppy out of the kindness of her heart; she just wanted a way to get close to her.

As her thoughts drifted, Sheng Zhi couldn’t help but think of Jiang Wanyin. She didn’t want to speculate on her love, but what was Jiang Wanyin’s love for her built upon? What was the… premise?

It couldn’t be for her actual self. Even Jiang Wanyin would say she had a bad personality. Although she would apologize later and say it was just the heat of the moment, doing it so many times surely meant there was some truth behind it. After all, wasn’t it because her personality was so terrible and spoiled that Yun Xian chose to flee the wedding?

—Too dramatic, too delicate, too arrogant, a bad temper, emotionally unstable…

Yes, she was all of those things. she never refuted those evaluations. It would be truly strange if anyone actually liked her for who she was.

The water in the tub remained warm. She and Ji Qingfan were intimately close, as if every part of their bodies was imbued with the other’s temperature.

“I haven’t remembered anything,” Sheng Zhi said as usual, but paused after finishing and asked, “But I’m a bit curious—aren’t you tired?”

“Tired? Jiao Jiao, you have no idea how happy I am right now.” The flush on Ji Qingfan’s face deepened with her words, her eyes shimmering. “I really, really love you. Being able to love you makes me so happy.”

“…Love what about me?”

The moment she said it, Sheng Zhi bit her lip. The phrase “I love you” was a meaningless lie in itself; pursuing it further was even more pointless. There were only a few possible answers anyway: either some empty flattery about her being beautiful, or a blatant lie praising her character, or some “the heart cannot be explained with words” type of fluff.

Hearing the question, Ji Qingfan let go of the lock of hair and instead interlaced her fingers with Sheng Zhi’s. “That depends on what Jiao Jiao wants to be.”

Her answer was different from all expectations. Sheng Zhi instinctively asked: “What do you mean?”

“It means I’m not the one who decides,” she smiled at her. “If Jiao Jiao wants to be a kind person, then I will love that kindness. If you want to be a wicked person, then I will be fascinated by that wickedness. Good or bad, as long as it’s you, I will love it…”

Her words left Sheng Zhi speechless for a moment. Then she snapped out of her daze and let out a dismissive, mocking scoff to cover her tracks: “By that logic, you’d probably love me even if I were out committing arson and murder.”

Despite the sarcastic tone, Ji Qingfan actually began to consider it seriously: “Let’s skip that. The risk is too high, and it’s hard to handle all the evidence perfectly. Dealing with investigations is a hassle. If you really want someone dead, let me arrange it. Even if it’s exposed, it will have nothing to do with you.”

She looked far too serious; her soft, whispered tone was so calm, yet the emotion in her eyes held a deeply hidden, chilling madness. Even knowing it was a calculated, exaggerated lie, a chill ran down Sheng Zhi’s spine, a sense of dread crawling up from her lower back.

She shifted her gaze, awkwardly changing the subject: “Fine, I see you’ve recovered. Since you’re better, wash yourself.”

But the next second, Ji Qingfan leaned into her embrace, looking more bone-less and fragile than ever.

“No,” she said in a voice so weak it sounded like she was melting. “I can’t. I’m so useless. I need Jiao Jiao to help me…”