Amnesia Trap (GL) - Chapter 66

Although the encounter with the Jing family wasn’t particularly pleasant, Sheng Zhi’s mood wasn’t significantly affected.

—After she told Ji Qingfan that she would reply to her messages, Ji Qingfan had sent her a barrage of texts throughout the afternoon, maintaining the same frequency and tone as before.

I can’t reply too enthusiastically, Sheng Zhi reminded herself repeatedly.

Can’t be too enthusiastic, can’t…

She looked at the messages she had already replied to, one by one.

Forget it. Actors need encouragement and feedback; she was only doing this so Ji Qingfan wouldn’t slack off on her performance.

Yes, that was it.

…

The post-dinner fruit was a crisp, sweet honey peach.

Sheng Zhi didn’t like apples, but she loved the crunchy texture of a hard peach.

Although the frequency of messaging had returned to normal, Ji Qingfan still didn’t sit particularly close to her. Even though they were both on the sofa, it felt as if this already large sofa had become even bigger. Sheng Zhi glanced over a few times and finally couldn’t help but reach out and pull the other woman toward her.

“I told you the cold doesn’t matter, don’t sit so far away from me,” she said awkwardly, deliberately avoiding Ji Qingfan’s eyes, fearing she might see a look of shock or something similar.

That would be too embarrassing.

After dodging for a few seconds, Sheng Zhi realized what she was doing and purposefully looked up to meet Ji Qingfan’s eyes, acting as if nothing had happened.

Ji Qingfan seemed not to have reacted yet, looking at her with misty eyes, unblinking. The next second, she suddenly hugged her, burying her face in the side of Sheng Zhi’s neck, murmuring like someone in a dream: “It still feels like I’m dreaming.”

Her breath was hot, and her whole body felt soft and supple. Her silk nightgown was thin—so thin Sheng Zhi could feel the dimples of her lower back. The hem of the gown rolled up slightly with her movements.

Sheng Zhi held her, her heart racing once again, her palms feeling like they were starting to burn.

It wasn’t good to keep hugging like this; Ji Qingfan still had a cold—

She loosened her grip and patted her back, signaling her to get up. Then, she took a peach and a fruit knife, absent-mindedly carving a “honey peach rabbit.”

With pink skin and snow-white flesh, a few cuts created a lifelike little rabbit. Usually, these rabbits are made from apples; if using peaches, only the hard variety would work.

One peach could yield several rabbits. As she carved, she could feel Ji Qingfan watching her with a gaze that felt almost tangible.

Even a common gaze, if sustained long enough, begins to look like infatuation.

She endured that moist, love-filled stare until she finished the entire peach. Hesitating for a moment and unable to take the pressure anymore, she picked up a rabbit and poked Ji Qingfan’s lips with its “tail”: “Stop staring. Open up.”

To her surprise, Ji Qingfan didn’t just eat it. Instead, she reached out to take the rabbit, her eyes sparkling: “It’s so cute, just like Jiao Jiao. I’m almost reluctant to eat it…”

Hearing this, Sheng Zhi’s lashes fluttered.

She picked up another rabbit from the fruit plate and bit its head off in one go. Seeing Ji Qingfan still holding her rabbit, looking at it from all angles as if it were a precious treasure, she instinctively tried to make things difficult: “Is this that new to you? I haven’t carved one for you before?”

She didn’t mean anything deep by it; she was simply used to making things hard for her.

As soon as she said it, Sheng Zhi stiffened, worried Ji Qingfan wouldn’t be able to handle the question. After all, according to Ji Qingfan’s description, the “pre-amnesia” Sheng Zhi and she were very much in love, so she surely must have carved these peach rabbits before.

But if she had carved them, Ji Qingfan’s reaction just now—looking like she’d never seen one—was all wrong.

Yet if Ji Qingfan admitted she’d never seen one, then the “very much in love” narrative would look fake. How could you be “very much in love” but never have carved a simple peach rabbit that takes only a few seconds?

Just as she was wondering how she’d help Ji Qingfan bridge the plot hole if she failed, she noticed Ji Qingfan’s bright expression dim slightly.

“Before… of course you carved them,” she said, the gloominess appearing as if she were lost in memory. But immediately after, she smiled again. “But this one is the first one Jiao Jiao has carved for me since the amnesia.”

She suddenly leaned in closer, her breath like orchids: “Jiao Jiao, have you really not remembered anything?”

Expectant and smiling—it was a perfectly normal question, yet from her lips, it sounded like precious pearls falling. It was so fluid and natural, it felt more real than the truth.

Worrying for nothing, Sheng Zhi grumbled to herself.

Indeed, what couldn’t Ji Qingfan handle or smooth over?

She looked at the rabbit in her hand and didn’t answer the question, only asking: “Are you going to eat it or not?”

“Mhm, mhm, eating it, eating it.” Ji Qingfan stayed close to her, taking very small, slow bites.

Sheng Zhi was suddenly reminded of Ji Qingfan’s words—”The rabbit is cute, just like Jiao Jiao.” Looking at her eat while thinking of that sentence made her feel an indescribably subtle and strange sensation.

“So sweet.”

Hearing Ji Qingfan say this, she felt even more uneasy.

Thinking of something, Sheng Zhi brushed her hair back and stood up as if to distract herself: “Haven’t you taken your cold medicine yet?”

“Not yet.” After answering, Ji Qingfan reached out and hooked her finger around her.

“But Jiao Jiao, I have a question I want to ask you… Have you developed a little bit of ‘like’ for me now?”

“Even if you haven’t remembered, just based on our time together lately, is there even a tiny bit more ‘like’ for me?”

The question hung in the air.

I was careless. That was Sheng Zhi’s first thought.

Perhaps she really should have practiced in front of a mirror beforehand. Then she wouldn’t have fallen into this eerie silence when Ji Qingfan asked, unable to speak.

She suspected her expression was blank and panicked.

If you don’t say “no” immediately, saying it later changes the flavor of the word.

“Why is Jiao Jiao not speaking… and your heart? Is your heart racing?”

As Ji Qingfan spoke, her soft fingertips moved as if to touch Sheng Zhi’s chest. Sensing the movement, Sheng Zhi grabbed her wrist almost instantly.

“No, it’s not,” she argued, her voice tight, her breath nearly skipping a beat. “My heart isn’t racing.”

In reality, the thumping in her chest had never been so obvious; it was deafening. It was so loud that even while holding Ji Qingfan’s wrist, she was afraid she would hear it and feel it.

But she repeated the word, one by one, in sync with her heartbeat: “My heart is not racing.”

After the answer, the atmosphere fell into several beats of silence. In that silence, she realized something from Ji Qingfan’s expression and added stiffly: “And I don’t have that kind of ‘like’ for you.”

Ji Qingfan said: “Really?”

She didn’t look convinced. Her expression was serious as she thought, and just like Sheng Zhi’s repetition, she asked again: “Really?”

This unconvinced probing made Sheng Zhi even more panicked. Only one thought remained in her mind: she couldn’t let Ji Qingfan feel this way. She couldn’t let her think that “like” existed.

Her demeanor just now was far too defensive, not at all like someone who didn’t like the other person.

So, she denied it even more thoroughly, giving Ji Qingfan no chance to interject: “How could you think that? Is it because we did it, or because the recent events made you misunderstand?”

“Physical things don’t represent feelings; as long as the mood is right, it’s the same with anyone. Continuing the marriage is only because it’s the choice that maximizes benefits. Just like your cold—I’m not actually that worried, it’s just that the main responsibility lies with me…”

“Anyway, don’t ask these meaningless questions. I’ll go prepare your medicine. Go to sleep early after drinking it.”

By the end, her voice was calm. Sheng Zhi finished in one breath, let go of her with feigned naturalness, and went straight to prepare the cold medicine without looking at her.

She was afraid that if she looked, she wouldn’t be able to say those things.

But the moment she turned around, her expression started to crumble. Ji Qingfan’s voice echoed in her ears.

—”Really?”

Sheng Zhi mechanically tore open the packet of medicine, poured it into the cup, and added water. Her hand shook, and the water overflowed. Seeing this, she covered her face with her hands in frustration.

After a moment, she peeked out through her fingers, her gaze fluctuating with complexity.

Having this kind of reaction doesn’t necessarily mean it’s ‘like.’ Maybe it’s just a temporary rush.

She wasn’t some single-celled organism.

After all, chatting with Ji Qingfan, hugging, kissing, intimate contact… it was indeed very comfortable and hard to resist. Ji Qingfan was just playing dirty. Everything she wanted, and things she hadn’t even thought of—Ji Qingfan could do them all. She understood her, understood her too well, dancing right on her preferences.

She was so passionate and proactive that it was impossible to withstand.

Perhaps she should look at it from another angle.

If it was just a temporary rush, she should look at the cause of the rush and work backward… maybe, just maybe, if they kissed more and did it more, she wouldn’t feel this “rush” as much.

Wasn’t there a term called “desensitization therapy”?

In medicine, you extract the allergen and use repeated, tiny exposures to build tolerance, making the allergic reaction weaker and weaker until you’re fully desensitized or the reaction is no longer severe.

Even though it wasn’t an allergy, there must be a threshold for this, right? Maybe with enough exposure, once she passed that critical point, she’d be fine and wouldn’t feel this “rush” anymore.

As for whether this method worked… she’d know if she tried. She would absorb the techniques of desensitization therapy now and see if she could build up that tolerance bit by bit.

At this thought, Sheng Zhi dropped her hands, wiped up the spilled water, and pursed her lips.

She couldn’t fall in love with Ji Qingfan.

Ji Qingfan wouldn’t truly have feelings for her… she couldn’t walk into this head-first while clearly knowing it was all a lie.

She couldn’t.