Appearing on a Marriage Show Before Getting Divorced - Chapter 50

As the date of the surgery approached, Ruan Youran and Chu Qing discussed and decided it was time to return to the United States for recovery. After all, her primary attending physician was there, and the medical team knew Chu Nian’s condition like the back of their hands.

The closer the time came, the more Ruan Youran felt like her heart was being sliced by a knife. Whenever she had a free moment, her gaze would land on Chu Nian—lingering, reluctant—and sometimes she couldn’t help but burst into tears just by looking at her.

Whenever Chu Nian looked at her, a faint smile always hung on her lips. She was very quiet. Deep in the night, she would lean peacefully in Ruan Youran’s arms, humming love songs. Youran’s tears would fall uncontrollably; in this moment, she finally understood why Chu Nian had left without saying goodbye all those years ago.

Extreme passion does not last…

If Nian Nian truly passed away… before the surgery, they had to prepare for the worst. Although Ruan Youran wasn’t a doctor, she had grown up following her mother and was used to seeing life and death. She had always thought she felt these things more deeply than others, but now she realized that when it truly landed on her own shoulders, she finally understood the depth of the pain.

Before going abroad, the two visited their old kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, and university. They even went to the parks and malls they used to frequent—every nook and cranny.

Youran remained very silent. Over these few days, her tears hadn’t stopped. Chu Nian squeezed her hand and said softly, “Youran, you brought me here for nostalgia, not for a farewell, right? Rest assured, I will definitely come back.”

Chu Nian was not a person who made promises lightly. Youran nodded, her heart heavy with sorrow.

Before leaving, there was a small complication. Although Zhengzhi was a smart, obedient, and sensible child, she was still a child. Given her age, she shouldn’t have to experience such a painful ordeal. So, everyone agreed she should stay in the country for the time being, using an excuse to mislead her.

That day, Ruan Youran and Chu Nian woke up early. They meticulously prepared Zhengzhi’s favorite soup noodles—this time, diced meat and vegetable noodles. Youran diced the eggplant while Chu Nian prepared the broth. The soft eggplant almost melted into the noodles, incredibly savory, topped with appetizing green scallions.

When Chu Nian placed it before Zhengzhi, the girl was very happy. Looking at her tiny face, her small pigtails, and her little body, Chu Nian’s nose stung. She couldn’t help but lean down to kiss her.

That kiss caused the problem. Zhengzhi looked up, staring at her mother with confusion. Later, no matter what the adults said or how they tried to persuade her, it was useless.

When Youran and Chu Nian picked up their luggage, Zhengzhi cried for the first time in her life with such heart-wrenching intensity. Her hands gripped the handle of Chu Nian’s suitcase. “Mamma… Mamma…”

Those cries of “Mamma” brought tears to the eyes of all four adults present. Chu Nian grit her teeth, hardening her heart not to look at Zhengzhi. She pried the small hands away and turned to leave, but Zhengzhi reacted quickly, chasing after her and fiercely hugging Chu Nian’s leg. “Mamma… don’t leave Zhengzhi… Mamma…”

Having depended on each other for so many years, having supported each other through the gates of hell time and again, Zhengzhi’s intuition regarding death was sharper than anyone’s. She knew she absolutely could not let go. If she let go now, she might never see her mother again. She didn’t want that.

The child’s crying was devastating. Zhengzhi looked up at Chu Nian: “Mamma… I beg you… Mamma…”

Youran’s tears fell in streams. Chu Nian could no longer restrain herself; she turned around and hugged Zhengzhi with all her might. Mother and daughter wept together. Zhengzhi cried until she could barely breathe, her hands clutching her mother’s clothes. Chu Nian, face covered in tears, looked up at Ruan Youran. Youran nodded. “Let’s all go together.”

If they didn’t bring Zhengzhi, Chu Nian wouldn’t be at peace even on the operating table.

Throughout the flight, Zhengzhi’s eyes remained red. She looked as though she had been traumatized, clutching a corner of her mother’s clothing and refusing to let go. Ruan Youran looked out the window at the vast sky and clouds, her tears falling line by line.

It wasn’t until Zhengzhi fell asleep and was taken by her grandmother that Chu Nian painedly put an arm around Youran’s shoulder. “Alright, Youran, don’t be sad.”

Youran turned her head to look at her, choking back sobs. “Nian Nian, you must survive, do you hear me?” Otherwise, in the future, with this beautiful land and vast sky, what was she supposed to do all alone?

Chu Nian nodded, leaning against Youran’s shoulder, her heart heavy. Throughout their lives, the Ruan Youran she knew was always strong and determined. Even when they fought or when Youran was sad, she was never this fragile. Now, Youran was truly terrified.

Regarding death, Chu Nian had experienced it too many times. To be honest, she wasn’t afraid. Her life had once been a fate worse than death, but now, she desperately wanted to live. Not for herself, but for Youran, for Zhengzhi, and for everyone who cared about her. Once a person has a will, they become powerful in an instant.

Arriving in the U.S., Zhengzhi stopped crying. She knew her mother wouldn’t leave her at home anymore, and she even led the two weary grandmothers to the bedroom to rest.

This was Youran’s first time visiting this home. Lilo, wearing a white coat and rubbing alcohol on her hands, walked out. Seeing Youran, her blue eyes widened: “Amazing!”

Several other people walked out of the room, evidently Chu Nian’s friends. Seeing Ruan Youran, they all covered their mouths in speechless shock. Foreigners can be a bit exaggerated in expressing their emotions. One tall, fashionable woman wrapped in mink fur walked over and hugged Youran. “Finally, I meet Nian Nian’s wife. Hello, I am Nian Nian’s friend, Juliy.”

Youran felt a bit embarrassed and shook everyone’s hand one by one. Chu Nian watched with a smile from the side. Some of her friends winked at her playfully, and she just leaned back with her arms crossed, smiling faintly. Knowing the purpose of Chu Nian’s return, the friends didn’t stay long and all left except for Lilo.

Lilo looked at the two of them. “Rest first. Tomorrow we do a full check-up.”

The two nodded. Youran was indeed tired. Chu Nian took her hand and led her to the bedroom. Inside, Youran froze. The large bed was the violet color Chu Nian loved—the sheets were almost identical to the ones in their bedroom at home. Every piece of furniture… if Youran didn’t know she was in the U.S., she would have thought she was back in their own house.

On the wall hung a photo of the two of them when they were eighteen. Back then, Youran was particularly mischievous; her face was smudged with dirt, and she was trying to wipe her dirty hands on Chu Nian’s face. Chu Nian was laughing and dodging, her long hair flowing—so full of youth.

Beside it were more photos of the two of them. In every one, they were smiling brilliantly. Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one… as they grew older, Chu Nian became a Film Queen. Her behavior was no longer as childish, but the happy smile she wore when leaning against Youran never changed.

On the nightstand was the photo Zhengzhi had mentioned many times—the one her mother would hold and cry over whenever she was in pain. It was the one of them watching the stars in university, a candid shot taken by Big Flower that was romantic and artistic. Under the vast sky, they sat on the grass, leaning on each other with fingers intertwined. Youran was looking at Chu Nian, and Chu Nian was looking back at her with a hint of shyness.

Youran’s eyes grew moist. She hadn’t known that during those three most painful years, Chu Nian had survived by relying on these photos. Chu Nian hugged Youran from behind, her voice a bit choked. “I dreamed… and fantasized about having this day again.”

Youran turned around and hugged her with all her might. What could three years separate? Once, Youran’s heart was cold, thinking she wasn’t in Chu Nian’s life during those three years. She thought Chu Nian had failed her. But she hadn’t known that in lonely corners, Chu Nian had been secretly missing her all along. Her friends, their child… for these three years, it was as if Ruan Youran had always been by her side.

The curtains were drawn, and they cast aside their physical exhaustion. Their limbs intertwined in a lingering embrace. They loved each other so deeply. Why did fate have to give them tribulation after tribulation? They accepted their fate, yet they would never admit defeat. They were each other’s courage.

During the check-up the next day, Youran accompanied her the entire time. Since the two grandmothers were older, Youran had them stay home with the child to adjust to the jet lag. Watching Chu Nian have vial after vial of blood drawn without so much as a flinch made Youran’s heart ache.

Chu Nian patted her hand. “It doesn’t hurt.” She had long since grown used to it. Youran wanted to smile to comfort her, but she simply couldn’t.

The examinations lasted most of the day. In the afternoon, Lilo held the report, her expression bright. “Nian Nian, it seems the power of love is truly incredible. Your condition is much better than before.”

Youran let out a long breath of relief. Lilo added: “From now until the surgery, you must come to the hospital every day.” Before Chu Nian could respond, Youran nodded immediately. Lilo was stunned for a moment, then she and Chu Nian looked at each other and laughed.

Before leaving the hospital, Chu Nian pursed her lips, looking at Lilo as if hesitating. Having spent nearly three years together, Lilo knew what she wanted to ask. “Nian Nian, do you want to know about your mother’s condition?”

Youran stayed silent. Chu Nian nodded, looking at Lilo tensely. Lilo was not one to hide things. “Her condition is very poor. She is bedridden now. However, she said she will see no one—especially not you.”

Very poor… bedridden… Chu Nian lowered her head, her eyes reddening as tears fell uncontrollably.

Outside the gates, the weather was perfect—not a cloud in the sky, the sun shining brightly. Two days until the surgery. The pressure was on a countdown. The tension was on a countdown. Even… life was on a countdown.

Returning home, Zhengzhi had woken up. She was sitting on the floor playing with toys as usual. Seeing her mothers return, she glanced up quickly and then lowered her head again. Chu Nian knew the girl was afraid that if she said too much, she would be sent away.

Chu Qing also went to the hospital that afternoon. Her opinion was basically the same as Lilo’s: Chu Nian’s body was currently in a suitable state for surgery. Most importantly… if she didn’t have the surgery now, Mother Chu wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer.

That night, Youran held Chu Nian. By the moonlight, she meticulously studied the features of the person she had loved for so long. Chu Nian’s hand caressed her face as she looked into Youran’s eyes. “Youran, promise me, regardless of the surgery’s outcome, you must live well, understand?”

Youran’s eyes were rimmed with red, her voice choked. “If you truly die and I’m still alive, is that meant to be a torture for me?”

Chu Nian shook her head, her gaze clear. “Youran, you still have Zhengzhi. If she truly loses one mother and then you leave too, it would be too unfair to her. And there are our two mothers; they have worked hard for us their entire lives.”

Youran said nothing, tears falling uncontrollably. Drop by drop they fell onto Chu Nian’s collarbone, sliding down as if into her very heart. Chu Nian wiped the tears. “You must promise me.”

Youran bit her lip hard, a mournful sound escaping her chest. “I promise you.”

Chu Nian felt at peace. Her hand slowly caressed Youran’s heart, and she said softly, “Once, I thought I would be an outlier my whole life—lonely and alone. But then I met you. You were the one who taught me to say ‘love’.”

Saying this, she looked into Youran’s eyes and whispered, “I love you, Youran.”

Youran’s body trembled. She hugged Chu Nian fiercely. She had waited for this… for so many years, that cold woman who never expressed herself had finally opened her mouth to say she loved her. But why did her heart ache so much?

The morning of the surgery, Chu Nian woke up in the ward. She stubbornly insisted on drawing Youran’s eyebrows. Youran had no choice but to bring the eyebrow pencil. Chu Nian looked into Youran’s eyes, drawing each stroke seriously.

—May I find one heart, and never part until our hair turns white. She would definitely survive. Youran held her. Two hours until the surgery. Beside Chu Nian’s bed, Youran sang softly:

—The most romantic thing I can think of, is to grow old slowly with you. Collecting bits and pieces of laughter along the way. Saving them for later, when we’re rocking slowly in our wheelchairs.

In her raspy voice, singing with deep emotion, neither Youran nor Chu Nian cried this time. They looked at each other, seeing only the other in their eyes. They would grow old together; they surely would.

With a creak, the ward door pushed open. Lilo looked at Chu Nian. “Nian Nian, go and have your final farewell with your mother.”

It was death, and it was life. This was the last time Chu Nian would see her mother.

Mother Chu was lying in bed, unable to get up. her abdomen was greatly swollen with ascites. She was gasping for air, looking toward the door as if waiting for someone. The moment the door pushed open and Chu Nian ran in urgently, a smile finally appeared on her lips.

How many moments in life are unexpected? Who could have thought a meeting would be a final parting? Chu Nian knelt on the floor, hugging her mother’s body tightly. “Mom… Mamma…”

Mother Chu could not speak, but Chu Nian knew from her moving lips what she was saying.

—Nian Nian, Mom loves you.

“Mom, I love you…”

In the past, she had regretted being her child, even resented her for giving birth to her but failing her duties as a mother. Now, if there truly were a next life, Chu Nian would still be her child.

Chu Nian was persuaded to return. Lying on the surgical gurney, Ruan Youran pressed a final kiss to her lips, her voice trembling: “I’ll wait for you to come out.”

Two surgical gurneys began to move almost in synchronization. The anesthesia took effect, and Chu Nian gradually fell into a deep sleep.

On the other side, Mother Chu watched as Ruan Qiu, Chu Qing, and Ruan Youran stood by her side and bowed to her together. She closed her eyes with a smile, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. Her life had not been worth it. But her daughter would surely be happier than she was.