Appearing on a Marriage Show Before Getting Divorced - Chapter 47

After expressing her gratitude to Master Huiguo, Chu Nian supported Ruan Youran as they walked toward the car. Youran smiled and wiped away her sweat with one hand. “It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’m not that fragile.”

Chu Nian kept her head down, her lips pursed, and her hand tightly gripping Youran’s arm. In this world, there was someone who wanted her to live even more than she did herself.

Youran tried to pull away slightly, but unable to withstand the other woman’s stubborn insistence, she eventually relented.

Ruan Qiu, being experienced in the ways of the world, made an excuse as soon as they reached the car, saying she wanted to chat with a familiar master at the temple, leaving the two of them to wait in the vehicle.

Chu Nian took out some mineral water to clean Youran’s wounds. After years of illness, she had become half a doctor herself. Once inside the car, she looked at the gruesome injuries. “Take off your pants.”

Youran’s face turned red. “What?”

Chu Nian looked at her with feigned annoyance. “The injuries are so severe. How can I wash them if you don’t take them off?”

Here it was—the bossy side of Chu Nian.

Youran obediently pulled off her pants. Where the fabric stuck to her raw flesh, she couldn’t help but gasp in pain despite her best efforts to restrain herself.

As Chu Nian saw the full extent of the wounds, her tears began to fall uncontrollably again. New wounds and old scars crawled across Youran’s snow-white legs. The ones on her knees were the most obvious—some that had already scabbed over were bleeding again. It must have hurt so much.

“Alright, it’s okay.” Youran kissed Chu Nian’s forehead. Chu Nian sobbed, “Don’t do such stupid things again.”

Youran smiled. “How is it stupid? Look at you—you’re finally out of bed, aren’t you?”

Chu Nian choked up, pulling Youran into a one-armed embrace. “You are my god.”

—You are my god.

Since childhood, she had walked through countless shadows. No matter how strong she tried to be, the waves of hardship that crashed over her again and again had left her exhausted and powerless. There were times she had thought of giving up, simply letting herself drift with the current.

But every single time… it was Ruan Youran. She hacked through the thorns, rescuing her from the valley like a warrior, time and time again. Even when Youran herself was bloody and exhausted, she never thought of giving up on her.

Ruan Youran was her god. She was her everything.

Once the wounds were cleaned, revealing raw pink flesh still oozing blood, Chu Nian watched as her tears fell onto the floor. “You came home… and I didn’t even notice.”

Youran stroked her hair. Of course she hadn’t noticed. No matter how much it hurt, Youran would grit her teeth and endure it in front of Chu Nian. Chu Nian had suffered too much; as far as Youran was concerned, she only wanted her to be happy.

Chu Nian leaned down, gently and cautiously kissing the skin around the scars. This was the best medicine in the world, more effective than anything else.

Youran’s face gradually flushed. She reflexively gripped Chu Nian’s waist. “Not here.”

Even though they were in a parking lot, it was still… a different kind of place. Chu Nian’s cheeks also reddened slightly as she leaned her head on Youran’s shoulder.

When Ruan Qiu returned and saw this scene, she smiled. It seemed the storm had passed. To be honest, even she had to admire her daughter’s endurance, willpower, and determination. In her youth, Ruan Qiu had a bad temper; though she was completely devoted to Chu Qing, she didn’t dare imagine how she would have handled experiencing all of this.

On the way back, Youran’s energy was spent. Feeling exhausted, she let Chu Nian allow her to lean against her and sleep. A spring breeze blew in, feeling incredibly comfortable, and the air smelled of fresh grass.

Youran, eyes half-closed, softly hummed:

—Ooh, I love leaning against your chest like this. Ooh, I love having no time and no direction.

The gentle, lingering humming flowed into Chu Nian’s broken heart like a warm current. She held Youran tightly, wiped the tears from the corners of her own eyes, and kissed her forehead softly.

Ruan Qiu, sitting in the front, felt a bit out of place. In her memory, Chu Nian was someone who was easily embarrassed; even in moments of intimacy, she would never act that way in front of others. Usually, it was her daughter who initiated things, but now…

Love makes a person resolute. Ruan Qiu finally saw that spark of determination in Chu Nian’s eyes once again.

“Let’s go pick up Zhengzhi from school. We can tell the teacher she won’t be coming tomorrow for her birthday. We’ll just relax at home.”

When Ruan Qiu spoke, the two mothers naturally nodded in agreement.

A third birthday… Chu Nian sighed. After giving birth to Zhengzhi, she truly didn’t dare to think too far ahead. During the child’s repeated treatments, she had feared Zhengzhi might not see age three… she didn’t expect much, but the child was stronger than her, and she had to be stronger than she thought. They had made it through together.

Youran looked into her eyes. “Everything will get better. We’ll be with Zhengzhi through many, many more three-year milestones… her sixth, ninth, twelfth, eighteenth…”

Chu Nian understood what Youran meant, and her tears began to pour. Youran wiped them away. “Nian Nian, I’ve been thinking lately that maybe for life, death isn’t the end. Your mom… she lived a very hard life. If it’s possible, you’ll carry her part with you and be happy together.”

Chu Nian buried herself in Youran’s arms. She didn’t refuse the thought, but her tears were like a surging tide. In these three years, their tears had almost run dry. When would the dawn finally shine upon them? She didn’t know, she couldn’t think about it, and she didn’t dare to hope for too much…

It was dismissal time at the kindergarten. Many parents were there to pick up their children. Ruan Qiu, being the social butterfly she was, naturally got out of the car to greet everyone.

Chu Nian didn’t let Youran get out. Her knees hadn’t healed yet; she needed to apply medicine at home before she could start moving around properly. She watched the entrance with anticipation, seeing a group of children file out. Zhengzhi was striking—her face was exquisite and beautiful wherever she went. To Chu Nian’s surprise, she was actually walking out hand-in-hand with another little girl.

Chu Nian narrowed her eyes to get a better look. she recognized her—it was the little girl from the interview, Su Xiaoyu, right?

Zhengzhi still had her stoic face, but a faint smile played at the corners of her mouth. The other girl was talking non-stop, and though Zhengzhi didn’t respond, she didn’t let go.

The talkative Ruan Qiu also saw it and rubbed her chin. Holy crap! What’s going on here?

Chu Nian instinctively called out, “Zhengzhi!”

Hearing the voice, Zhengzhi immediately pulled her hand back. Su Xiaoyu turned around curiously. “Wow, Zhengzhi, is that your Mamma? She’s so pretty.”

Zhengzhi ignored her and walked straight to Chu Nian. Chu Nian took her hand, looking back with amusement at the little girl who was still staring at Zhengzhi. She wanted to ask something, but Zhengzhi frowned. “I’m hungry.”

Chu Nian laughed. The child was growing up; she even knew how to be embarrassed now.

Once in the car, seeing that her Mamma-Youran was there too, Zhengzhi was very happy. She sat between Youran and Chu Nian. Youran gave her a kiss, Chu Nian gave her a kiss, and Zhengzhi grinned.

Youran whispered in Chu Nian’s ear, “Our daughter has a bit of a ‘Cold Queen’ vibe.”

Chu Nian shot her a look. She felt guilty for not spending time with the child lately. She stroked Zhengzhi’s hair. “Mamma will tell the teacher later. Tomorrow is your birthday, so you won’t have to come to kindergarten, okay?”

Youran also looked at Zhengzhi with a smile. The two mothers assumed Zhengzhi would be like any other child—excited and thrilled. Unexpectedly, Zhengzhi looked at them both and shook her head. “No, I can’t miss class.”

Ruan Youran: “…”

What the hell kind of ‘class’ is there in kindergarten? Just as she was about to ask indignantly, Chu Nian looked at Zhengzhi thoughtfully. “Is it because of that little girl?”

Zhengzhi’s face turned a bit red. She turned to look out the window. “Mhm. I promised her. She said she wants to celebrate my birthday with me.”

Chu Nian: “…” Ruan Youran: “…”

Dammit. They never imagined such a cruel reality would be placed before the two mothers so soon. Their daughter… was she in a “puppy love” phase? This… was a bit too early, wasn’t it?

Back home, Chu Nian laughed at Youran’s pained expression. “You’re something else. You were the one afraid she wouldn’t socialize, and now that she has a friend, you’re the one being jealous.”

Youran said sourly, “She’s so young. I thought I was progressive enough.”

Chu Nian: “What do you know? This is pure love.”

Pure love? This mother really didn’t understand. Even though Zhengzhi wasn’t spending the day with them, early the next morning, the two doting mothers still pulled her out of bed to sing her a birthday song. Each said “I love you” and gave her a kiss before sending her off to school.

Zhengzhi was happy too, hugging her two mothers and saying in her milky voice, “I love you too.” Youran was satisfied, but when they reached the school and she saw Zhengzhi give Su Xiaoyu a radiant smile, she felt sour again. Her whole being was covered in jealous bubbles.

Though the guest of honor was missing, the whole family gathered to cook for Zhengzhi.

As Chu Nian was rolling out dumpling skins, her eyes suddenly turned red. Her own mother had loved dumplings most. Now, her mother was severely ill, and Chu Nian didn’t even know where she was, who was with her, or how much pain she was in.

Youran and Ruan Qiu were preparing the hotpot outside. Despite her age, Zhengzhi loved hotpot. Everyone was getting ready for the evening feast.

Chu Qing was a pro at baking cakes. As she put the mold into the oven and turned around, she saw Nian Nian crying by herself. This kind of situation was painful for anyone to accept. Knowing her thoughts, Chu Qing walked over and gently patted Nian Nian’s shoulder. On such a happy day, there shouldn’t be tears.

Chu Nian suppressed her sorrow. “It’s okay, Mom.”

Chu Qing looked at her with concern. In the living room, Ruan Qiu shouted, “Madam, come here! Why can’t I get this thing open?” Chu Qing went over, and Ruan Qiu took her place in the kitchen to help.

Chu Nian was chopping vegetables. She asked softly, “Mom, has Youran believed in Buddhism since she was very young?”

Ruan Qiu, who was washing plates, paused. “Not exactly. She started following me to temples when she was tiny. She didn’t understand anything then—she was barely older than Zhengzhi. But seeing the Buddha statues, she actually learned to imitate me, kneeling with her hands pressed together. Master Huiguo happened to see her once. The Master was sweeping and stared at Youran for a long time, then smiled and said the child had a predestined bond with Buddha. As she grew up, she visited occasionally, but it’s been very frequent lately.”

Chu Nian nodded. Ruan Qiu pursed her lips and stayed silent for a moment. “Actually, Nian Nian—”

Chu Nian looked at her. Ruan Qiu met her eyes. “A few days ago, Jianjian told me something that made me quite sad.”

Chu Nian watched her without blinking. Ruan Qiu continued slowly, “In our hearts, we always think of her as a child who won’t grow up. But she suddenly came to me and said: ‘Mom, I went to buy burial plots. I wanted to buy for Nian Nian and me. I accidentally heard that Nian Nian had already bought plots for herself and the child long ago.'”

Chu Nian’s heart jolted, and she bit her lip.

Back then, Ruan Youran had been devastated. She had sobbed, clutching her chest: “When I saw those two black tombstones engraved with ‘Wife and Daughter of Ruan Youran,’ do you know how much I hurt?”

Youran had cried for a long time. Finally, she wiped her tears and said softly, “Later, I thought about it over and over. I used to wish I could be sick in Nian Nian’s place, to transfer all her pain to me. But now I understand… if this family is destined to suffer so much grief, and someone must leave, then the way things are now might be the best choice.”

Ruan Qiu had been stunned then, not understanding.

Youran had said through her tears, “When someone leaves, maybe the pain really ends. But the one who stays behind is the one who truly suffers. I love her and cherish her so much… how could I bear to leave her behind in this world, living a life worse than death?”

So, let her be the one to bear it all alone.

Listening to this, Chu Nian felt numb all over. Something cool slid from the corner of her eye. There was someone who loved her to the bone, whose love had never changed.

What reason did she have… not to live on?